Valanthia L'Evienne
I can't go on. I'll go on.
[The Sand Castle] Sorority (Val, please) Timestamp: Last brightening of Summer following on from The Sandcastle Nikki smiled at the woman who let her in and nodded her thanks. She looked, it had to be said, nervous. She did not, however, forget her manners and Nikki spoke softly to the woman who appeared most pleasant "Thank you" she said, softly, looking at her with an honest and open expression. And then she was left in the parlour, which was rather minimalistically designed. None of the bright pink cushions for her sister, Nikki considered and she looked at the sofa briefly, before deciding that pacing was by far and away a better option. She clutched the flowers in her hand and she paced back and forth. This brightening, Nikki was wearing a long pencil skirt ~ the skirt was white and came to her ankles. Atop it was a green shirt, belted with a white belt and with white embroidery at the hem and on one sleeve. Her hair was loose and in what Milo had dubbed her "big hair" style and she wore a little make up, but not much. When she had paced as much as she could, she went and looked out of the window, remembering the time that she and Val had tried on a million dresses here, and the darkening that they had worn them to go out on the town. She stood, deep in thought, and waited. |
The cook walked out of the room, and Nikki was left to her own devices. She was left that way for quite a while, actually. Val's home was eerily silent, especially given its size. Several minutes went by in this manner. Finally, there was a noise at the top of the sweeping staircase that dominated the parlour. Then Valanthia walked into view, descending the staircase cautiously. She was wearing a blue blouse, and the kind of jagged-hemmed skirt that she had worn so often before reentering the world of politics. The look on her face was carefully neutral, but there was a certain hesitance around her eyes. "Serale, Nikki." She stopped perhaps five feet away from her sister. "I...I wasn't expecting you. Did you have a...a pleasant journey?" Val fell into an awkward silence after this, as if she couldn't think of anything suitable to say. Which was entirely true. |
Waiting was not an issue, and she waited as long as she needed to. After all, she'd come without invitation or any other such sensible precaution and she was pleased that Val was prepared to see her... of course, that was assuming that the cook didn't come back and say that Val was busy and Nikki could get out any time she liked. But eventually there was Val, walking down the stairs and looking about as awkward as Nikki felt. She held aloft the flowers, her eyes searching her sisters' face. "I'm sorry. I'm a dramatic, stupid idiot. I've spoken to Milo... and Dad" the word came out of her mouth in a perfectly normal tone, like she had come to terms with Rioughe somehow "And I know that I've just... Val, it's no excuse, but when Nell died.. she and I had argued, and I think I went a little.. I just wanted to do what I thought was right.. and I was wrong." She looked at her sister, her moss-green eyes watching carefully as she spoke "And you were right... totally right. Bram is away at the moment, visiting family. But when he comes back, I'm going to talk to him... but I'm.. well, I'm developing feelings for him. So I'm thinking that maybe the sensible thing to do is to just take it all very slow and see what happens... but I behaved abysmally, and all you did was try and stop me, and I'm sorry. I don't want to lose you in my life.." She looked at Val, hoping that her sister wasn't about to throw her out of the house for having the audacity to come here in the first place. She held on to the flowers and offered them to her, hoping against hope that her stupid brain hadn't totally messed up everything with Milo, with Rioughe, with Val and, come to that, with Bram himself. |
The expression on Val's face shifted to one of surprise. It seemed that whatever Milo had done had worked. And...Dad? Didn't she hate Rioughe? But she wasn't going to interrupt for that, not when Nikki was finally talking sense. She wondered what Milo had said to her exactly. It seemed that Nikki's erstwhile fiancee had taken the news fairly well; her curiosity was up at this point, but she delayed it enough to fully focus on what Nikki was saying. Her gaze shifted to the flowers, and that was enough. The princess smiled, a genuine smile, and then took Nikki in a sisterly embrace. Val wasn't exactly the hugging kind, and so the gesture was all the more meaningful. She took one step back, and then took the flowers from Nikki's hand. "I...I didn't much care for the...the idea of...of us not being the same either," she said quietly. "And...everyone makes mistakes. I've made lots of them. I'm glad to...to hear that you've decided to...take a different approach. Shall we...we call it no harm done and forgotten then?" Her gray eyes sparkled. "And Nikki...I don't think I've ever met anyone more...dramatic than you." She winked, and then hugged her sister again briefly. Then she looked at the flowers in her hand. "These are lovely...wherever did you get them? Let's find a...a vase to put them in, shall we? I think I've got an extra one...upstairs in my room. Can you come? I'd...I'd like to catch up with you a bit...it sounds like a lot is going on with you." |
Nikki returned Val's hug with a fierce, albeit brief one of her own. She felt the urge to cry come upon her, but she didn't. She held on to her sister and them smiled as Val took the flowers. She flushed slightly at the comment about drama and she nodded "It's a fair cop" she said, quirking her crooked smile at Val. "I stole them out of the Palace garden" she said, deadpan as Val asked. She nodded in pleasure as she was invited up to her sister's room and she kicked off her shoes as she said "I can come for a few hours. Gwygwin has been charged with some shopping that I wanted him to do for the children.." She walked behind Val and nodded "There is.. a lot going on. Milo and I had a... well, a screaming argument. I cried." she said, knowing that Val would understand how Milo felt about that particular situation "I hate that I did, I don't want to give him pressure, but I felt like I was going to explode... and I've... well, the biggest news I suppose is that I've decided to leave the Palace. I can't do it any more, Val. I can't live my life for anyone else... I'm trying to be mother, sister, wife and aunty all in one, and all that I'm doing is getting them all confused and messed up. It doesn't help anyone. So I'm going to leave for a while, maybe for good..." She looked at her sister and smiled "And that's all mixed up with Bram. I.. I've missed him Val, I really have. I think I'd like us to have a proper relationship... I don't know how to tell him, though, he wants the security of an engagement. I.. I wanted to ask your advice about that, in truth. Since I put in that stupid Herald Article that Milo was accepting suitors, there've been all these 'casual' visitors, and I just don't want it. So I was thinking of talking to Bram and saying that yes, we can be engaged.. for a couple of Era's.. and have a clear get out clause, both of us, because I want this to work, I just don't... I don't know. What do you think I should do?" she asked, looking at her sister for help. "Sorry, Val... I'm not being very good at finding out how things are with you, am I?" she said, smiling wanly. "Dramatic and self involved, it seems" a quirked grin accentuated her words here and she looked at her sister for help and guidance. |
"Do you know where you'll go?" A thoughtful look came to Val's countenance. "You're always...you know, welcome to come here. Or, if you want to...to get away from the whole 'living with family' thing for a while, I've...I've got a really nice vacation home in Ieffreon that I could use a house-sitter for." She didn't mention the argument with Milo -- she could certainly picture her brother and sister locked in verbal combat. The girl's pensiveness increased as Nikki went on. "Well, I...I think you're right to take it slow," she said at length. "As for an engagement...well, I don't know. I probably wouldn't suggest it...wouldn't having a long-term boyfriend be enough to get rid of other suitors too? I'd just worry that...that Ebramsom might take being engaged differently than you, especially if he's already talking about 'security." A rueful smile appeared momentarily. "But, when it comes to relationships with men, I'm...rather afraid that we're no longer addressing a subject in which I've got much credibility." They had reached Val's door, and she pushed it open. True to her word, there was an empty vase on a side table. Val put the flowers inside, and then got some water from the adjoining washroom to fill the vase with. "And me?" A sound somewhere between a laugh and a snort. "Nikki...there's...well, there's no way to explain things, really. Or at least not quickly. But I'm...I'm here, and I'm all right considering, so don't worry about me right now." |
She nodded at Val's words and spoke softly "Well, I just think that maybe since I'm changing my mind on so many things with him he'd appreciate it if I gave him that extra.. I don't know. I'm going to talk to him about it, I know that much. That's all I can do, really." She watched Val as her sister arranged the flowers in the vase. "I.. I don't want to sound ungrateful, Val, I really don't. But I think that I need to just buy somewhere of my own, that's just mine and no one else's. I think it'll probably be in High Peak, so that I can be close to Bram and see if this is going to work. But I just.. I need to.. I need to stop trying to be Nell, because I can't be her and I'm killing my relationship with Milo and Dad and everyone there. .. I just... I've messed it all up and I need to get myself back to who I am." She watched Val as she spoke the next few words, mindful of how important to her they were. "I was scared that I'd ruined things between us. I couldn't do that... selfish sow that I am, I rely on you far too much. As for not explaining things quickly, Val.. well I've got all the time that you need. What's going on?" |
Val sat down on the bed, her hands in her lap. Her hair fell forward, over her shoulders, and hid most of her face. "I went to the desert." She kicked one foot forward, like a schola-child on a chair too big for her. "Kella came...came too. And...describing this is almost impossible. We got a...a message, you might say? From Kalendryas. Time stopped. Or...or we were in many times at the same time. The words I have don't...don't match what happened, Nikki. It has to do with the curse, and with...with time itself. But I..." She shrugged, and then pushed the hair away from her eyes to look at her sister. "I don't know how to tell it true. I don't know how to...to explain it at all." She looked down again. "After that, I...well, I've kept reasonably busy. There's plenty to do here in Arakmat. I...I think it was after you left that I went to Silrosia to...to see what the Veil was. There was a...a troll, and centaurs, and they...they sort of want me to be their spokesperson, I think. I told them I wasn't much of a speaker, but they...didn't really seem to mind." A small sigh, and then a chuckle. "And then...then talking to Milo about you, trying to figure out what's going on. Never a dull moment here, Nikki. I don't really know what I'd do with a dull moment, but I...I kind of think sometimes that I'd enjoy it. Like I did as a child." She stood again, and the reverie was broken. "Anyway, I understand wanting to...to go be in your own place. Just don't make it too...too far away, all right?" Val looked softly into Nikki's eyes and smiled. |
Nikki listened to Val's stories and her eyes grew bigger than before. Val had cetainly had a busy time. She nodded and sat, cross legged on the floor, looking up to her big sister with an expression of fascination. "Keeping busy sounds like an understatement" she said, softly and looked at Val with amazement on her face "I've never seen a troll.. or a centaur. Spokesperson? That's good, isn't it? Isn't that what you do anyway, though, in the Consul job?" On the topic of dull moments, Nikki grinned up at Val "Dull moments are just that, Val... dull. But then, dullness can be under rated ~ dull allows you time to do your nails and pamper yourself something chronic. There's plus sides to dull, you know" She shook her head in a promise "Not too far away, I promise, Val. High Peak, and in contact, I promise." she smiled back at her and stood up herself, putting her hand on her sister's cheek, softly "I won't push you, Val. But you know, if you ever feel the need to talk to someone who has less than a limited understanding of what this whole curse that we.. I guess we... have, then I'll listen and love you no matter what. So if you want to talk about this message, then you feel free, but there's no pressure from me, I promise that too." She looked at her sister and wondered what the response to that would be. Val was notoriously difficult to read and Nikki was never sure how she would respond. |
"Well, it is and it isn't. I talk to people and...and tell Milo what they have to say, and vice versa. But this...this seems different somehow. I don't know how. It was...it was more in the way that he said it than in the words he used. Like it was...important somehow, in a way that, say, visiting with the Aedile in Imperia might not be." She shrugged lightly -- her way of saying that she couldn't explain any further. Then, she shifted directions. "High Peak? I can...I can come to visit then. Whenever you have a free moment, that is," she added with a little laugh. Then Val nodded slightly. "I...thanks. I can't even tell myself hardly...I just don't have the vocabulary. But...perhaps in time, I'll be...be able to take you up on your offer." The corners of her mouth curved into a sad smile. "I get lonely sometimes, you know?" Then she turned back to the flowers. "Anyway...did you want anything to drink? I'm sure Gygwyn or whoever brought you will be...be back before long. And I wouldn't want you to miss your chance to sample my...my elegant selection of beverages." One eyebrow rose sardonically -- it was a statement in keeping with Val's sense of humor. |
"Lonely?" she said, softly, and looked at her sister with a smile that was both understanidng and open to allow Val in. "I know that I'm the false and surface one, Val, but I know lonely. It's like some kind of hole inside you that isn't filled no matter what you pour into it." She looked at Valanthia and she smiled a slight, brief and beautiful smile to her sister "Do you ever think that maybe we are so messed up with trying to be who we aren't that we've forgotten who we are, Val?" she asked, suddenly. "Like you and I have forgotten how to be just Val and Nikki and we need to be all these other people? I want to just be Nikki, with my sister, Val, and to hold hands, link arms and love each other in a world where there aren't any feelings of pain, of hollow emptiness. How do we get that? Oh gods, I don't know, Val. I don't want anything to drink, I just want to see you laugh and mean it." She shrugged and turned looked at the tray in the room "Your elegant taste in beverages? Really? Have you even heard of chamomile tea?" she asked, raising an eyebrow in a mirror to her sisters. ooc: I'm so sorry. I'm rubbish. I've been rubbish. Forgive me? xxxx |
Of course ^_^ Val returned the smile, but although it too was an attractive smile, it had a good deal of sadness peeking out at the corners. "The...the world I live in is constructed entirely of pain and emptiness, Nikki." It sounded a bit pretentious, but given her history, she felt that she was entitled. "And...and maybe you're right. I know that...that I spend a lot of time being Consul, being Princess, being Sanguine...but not much being Val. Whoever that is." There was a grim chuckle here. Then the half-vysstichi turned and looked Nikki in the eye. "But...it's possible that someday we'll...we'll just be us. Somewhere...somewhere very far away from anywhere else. And I'll laugh and you'll laugh, and...and things will be different." Val tossed her hair over her left shoulder. "Saying it here with you, I...I can almost make myself believe it." Then she too turned and looked at the tray. "Of course I've heard of chamomile tea. I am a princess, you know." She looked severely at Nikki, and then giggled, the previous mood broken. "Do you want some? If so, I'll...well, on second thought, maybe you should brew it. There's a kettle in the next room over, but I...I know you don't always trust me when it comes to preparing drinks." Not that it was unwarranted -- Val's inability to make anything drinkable at all was a well-known fact among the L'Eviennes... |
"I believe it" she said, firmly, of the possibility of being just Val and Nikki "I believe it, because I think we have to choose it. You and I have that choice. Who knows, maybe even Milo can get his shot at just being Milo. I don't know about that, honestly, but I think that maybe we can choose it. Maybe" She shrugged, gently, and smiled at her sister softly "Because one of the good things about being an airhead is the knowledge that I don't see a Consul, or a Princess or a Sanguine in front of me. I see my sister, my beautiful sister Val who has a hurt in her heart. I wish I could wave a wand and make it all go away, you know. But I can't. Come to that" she said, and her eyes were wicked as she continued "I wish I could wave a wand and give you the ability to make a decent cup of tea. Sadly, that is even less likely. Maybe the wand would break, you know. I don't know how you manage to make such muck out of a simple cup of tea. I'll make it" she grinned As she started to make the chamomile tea, she called in "Would you like some honey with this, beautiful sister, or are you sweet enough?" she asked. Her heart was hurting for her sister, but she could not show her, there was no point to doing so. The only thing to do was to be there as much as she could be, to play the part that she played and to be the best sister she could be. Nikki felt, every now and then, that there was a very big responsibility being the airhead princess. But that was her job, and she would play the part. |
Val gave the sad smile again, but as Nikki kept talking, it turned to one of amusement. "I'm convinced someone is...sabotaging my hot drinks. Either that, or no one has any taste. I mean...I drink my tea. Erm...when I have to." She shrugged. It was good to be back to the normal banter, the give-and-take of their conversations. "No, no honey. It doesn't do to be too sweet -- you've got to have a little bit of bite too." She was relatively quiet after that though. They'd talked enough, perhaps -- just being together might be enough for now, a moment of calm in a world that was well beyond stormy. Val sat back down on her bed and waited for Nikki to finish and bring the tea in. |