Continued from here ...
Cerulean skies and sapphire seas in all directions. This was the kind of life he always dreamed of. No, that
was a lie. Every voyage was a practice in futility since they were all cursed by that damned siren-witch.
Sigh. But least he had a solid crew of upstanding men? No, that was a bigger lie. This was a pirate ship
and the crew was made up of men scraped from the bottom of the proverbial barrel. These were the
scum of Telath, toothless, gutless, and shameless. Captain Hitch growled, his pointy mustache curving
angrily inward beneath his beak-like nose. He slammed his hand on the table in his cabin.
But his gods-damned hook-hand got jammed on the clammy wood again. He wrestled it free after a few
good minutes of struggle. An unfriendly pattern of pockmarks reminded him of the countless time's he'd
forgotten that he lost his good right hand on his first voyage. I will kill that siren-witch if she ever
showed her face again, he vowed. He took in a steady breath and glared at the map spread in front of
him. He bought it with the last bit of gold he had -- for a promise of treasure and danger.
The thrill of the hunt in the high seas. Oh, but how the poets often forgot to add the dysentery, storms,
and occasional cannibalism that happened. No one ever told him that a pirate's life meant spending 99%
of the time with smelly, old pirates wandering aimlessly on a piece of driftwood. There were no whores
on a pirate ship; only poor liquor and one-again-off-again mutiny he usually dealt with via castration or
some other creative method he'd yet discover.
He was about to consider telling the crew to turn around and head to Terra -- when he heard an
explosion! Followed by a chorus of ungodly screaming and wailing! He smelled death and it stank like a
one-legged hooker he used to fancy when he got sufficiently drunk enough. No! They were under attack!
Maybe by some kind of Necromancy! He's heard of ghost ships eating entire crews alive. He plucked his
rapier from his desk, strapped his sword belt on, and made for the door.
In his haste, he accidentally got his hook-hand jammed into the door. His wooden leg made him a pretty
legit pirate, but a pretty lousy runner. At that point, the captain of the Siren Song realized that he was
locked inside his own cabin.
He cleared his throat and determined to sound as menacing as possible.
"...help?", he mumbled into the wooden door, fully knowing that half is crew were likely too plastered or
seasick to function.
-------
“I told you, cap’n! They came outta no-place! We fished ‘em right out!”, blabbered a squirrely voice.
“There was this BOOooooOOOOOOOooooM-like!”, chimed in a second speaker. “Then there was ghosts
and critters and slithery things!”
“I didn’t see no ghosts!”
“I swear! I heard these voices and it gave me the jibber-jeebers! My gran had the gift, you know? She
passed it on to me ...”
“QUIET!”, shouted a high-pitched third voice. The third speaker cleared his throat then continued more
authoritatively with a distinct Jaedaxian accent. “Tell me the fething truth. Why – is – a -- Jalat-damned-
GIANT and all this other riffraff ON MY SHIP?!”
--------
Cerulean skies and sapphire seas in all directions. This was the kind of life he always dreamed of. No, that
was a lie. Every voyage was a practice in futility since they were all cursed by that damned siren-witch.
Sigh. But least he had a solid crew of upstanding men? No, that was a bigger lie. This was a pirate ship
and the crew was made up of men scraped from the bottom of the proverbial barrel. These were the
scum of Telath, toothless, gutless, and shameless. Captain Hitch growled, his pointy mustache curving
angrily inward beneath his beak-like nose. He slammed his hand on the table in his cabin.
But his gods-damned hook-hand got jammed on the clammy wood again. He wrestled it free after a few
good minutes of struggle. An unfriendly pattern of pockmarks reminded him of the countless time's he'd
forgotten that he lost his good right hand on his first voyage. I will kill that siren-witch if she ever
showed her face again, he vowed. He took in a steady breath and glared at the map spread in front of
him. He bought it with the last bit of gold he had -- for a promise of treasure and danger.
The thrill of the hunt in the high seas. Oh, but how the poets often forgot to add the dysentery, storms,
and occasional cannibalism that happened. No one ever told him that a pirate's life meant spending 99%
of the time with smelly, old pirates wandering aimlessly on a piece of driftwood. There were no whores
on a pirate ship; only poor liquor and one-again-off-again mutiny he usually dealt with via castration or
some other creative method he'd yet discover.
He was about to consider telling the crew to turn around and head to Terra -- when he heard an
explosion! Followed by a chorus of ungodly screaming and wailing! He smelled death and it stank like a
one-legged hooker he used to fancy when he got sufficiently drunk enough. No! They were under attack!
Maybe by some kind of Necromancy! He's heard of ghost ships eating entire crews alive. He plucked his
rapier from his desk, strapped his sword belt on, and made for the door.
In his haste, he accidentally got his hook-hand jammed into the door. His wooden leg made him a pretty
legit pirate, but a pretty lousy runner. At that point, the captain of the Siren Song realized that he was
locked inside his own cabin.
He cleared his throat and determined to sound as menacing as possible.
"...help?", he mumbled into the wooden door, fully knowing that half is crew were likely too plastered or
seasick to function.
-------
“I told you, cap’n! They came outta no-place! We fished ‘em right out!”, blabbered a squirrely voice.
“There was this BOOooooOOOOOOOooooM-like!”, chimed in a second speaker. “Then there was ghosts
and critters and slithery things!”
“I didn’t see no ghosts!”
“I swear! I heard these voices and it gave me the jibber-jeebers! My gran had the gift, you know? She
passed it on to me ...”
“QUIET!”, shouted a high-pitched third voice. The third speaker cleared his throat then continued more
authoritatively with a distinct Jaedaxian accent. “Tell me the fething truth. Why – is – a -- Jalat-damned-
GIANT and all this other riffraff ON MY SHIP?!”
--------
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